Being a writer can bring about some of the most odd mood swings ever. About…an hour ago? I was hyper, and happy. Then I was irritated. Now I feel kind of depressed, and pointless.
The root of this has to be the damned vampire short I’m working on. There is so much I have to think about because I want to make it right. Don’t get me wrong. I love this story so much. I love the character of Cole Sanders. He’s just.. he’s very heart to pin down on paper. I feel like he’s pulling me in a thousand directions.
And he’s causing me a million and one emotions. What the hell. I don’t remember any character ever doing this to me before. Not one of my own. Jasper Hale did it to me when I was working on “Lost and Found” (Admittedly a fanfic, but still…) . But not my own.
I have this voice inside me saying, “Don’t do this story. It’s not worth the aggravation”. The other side of me says, “it’s worth it! It’s different for you, it’s past your comfort zone.” I think that, too, is a part of my frustration. I want to make this story different from my vampire stories.
With past short stories, I had too much detail, so I cut it out. Those stories came out okay. So I tried to do the same with this one, and I’m being told there’s not enough! I don’t what to do. It’s like being on American Idol, and being told one thing on one song, and the exact opposite on a different one. Where the hell am I supposed to go?
And for another matter? Why the hell is Cole even here?! What makes him think *I* am the one that is supposed to tell his story? Where does he get this idea that I can? -sigh-
